Summer 2010
Fathers are natural providers and would supply any material thing 
necessary for their child, but a great dad understands the real exchange happens all year long and doesn’t cost a thing. That gift is time spent together as a family with benefits that last throughout a child’s life.
Creating Time Together
Luis Hernandez knows the value of involving himself in the lives of his three children and makes it a priority. Whether it’s doing chores or just having fun, they approach each day together as a team. One Saturday, Hernandez focused on finding just the right bat and glove for sixth-grade son, Anthony. While they wait, eight-grader, Michael, chats with his sister, Alyssa, a pig-tailed kindergartner. Hernandez looks on with pride. “I’m watching them grow, showing them the right way, and paying attention to their development,” he says. As the oldest growing up, he says, “It wasn’t so strange taking care of others. I had a heads-up on being a dad.”
Hernandez is in law enforcement and though he has been divorced for two years, he creates family time. “Every Saturday that we’re together, it’s a tradition – I cook a full breakfast, we get haircuts or run errands, and we do something fun,” he says. “Today, we’re going to the park, but I did that before I was divorced. I like to do it.” He takes his children to church, meets with school counselors, and sees to their discipline.
Giving Children a Healthy Start
That devotion to their care comes from the first touch and grows as the children do. “When my daughters were born, the feeling of nervousness and excitement was overwhelming,” says Robert Green, father of 5-year-old Ashlynn and 2-year-old Kayleigh. “There’s not a more significant experience than having a child. They immediately become the center of your life after they’re born.”
Still, fathers feel the pull of duties to their children and to the world they’re creating for them. “It’s such a big responsibility – being a parent in many ways – including your time, financially, day-to-day activities, and more,” Green says. But dads strive for balance. “I love my two girls more than life itself and consider them my precious angels from above. I look forward to watching them grow up and mature while experiencing all that comes with it.” Green takes his girls to the park and zoo, watches movies together, plays games and swims with them. Kids need to play, he realizes, but more importantly, they need men they can count on.
A Father’s Many Roles
Dads are the foundation. They teach children to ride a bike by letting them go, but will stand on the curb ready to pick them up when they fall. Dads are strong yet tender, rational yet hopeful, firm yet tolerant. They are the best examples of straightforward love children will first know and model. For a son, Dad stands as the mirror image of himself – the protector and provider. And for a daughter, Dad is the first man she will fall I love with, and she will learn about relationships from him. It’s not a job to take lightly, and most men don’t.
According to the National Center for Fathering, 27 million children in America have absent fathers. Their deficit has been linked to higher rates of poverty, school failure, teen pregnancy, substance abuse, crime, depression, and too often, hopelessness. Ultimately, love – or rejection – affects children’s behavior, self-esteem, and emotional stability.
Blended & Single Parent Families
Men recognize fatherhood is about more than a bloodline. Chris Sykora is dad to 6-year-old Lana, and is married to Andrea, who has custody of 5-year-old Hunter. They are also parents of newborn son, Peyton. Holding the 1-week-old baby, Sykora says, “We’ve been through this before, but I missed changing diapers and them being so small. I like it when they take a nap on my chest. Hearing him breathe relaxes me, just knowing they’re a part of me.” They are a blended family, and each other’s child reminds them of the best part of their first marriage.
Single dad Scott Funk has been both mother and father to his 13-year-old daughter, Caitlin, for years. “I instill honesty and to respect people,” he says. It’s worked. “You don’t always have to know the answers, but Caitlin is really open – we can talk about anything,” he says. “She makes me blush at times.” Being present is important, but kids will remind you if you forget. Caitlin was a cheerleader, and Dad loved the football games. One day, he heard a loud voice calling, “Dad, you’re supposed to be watching me, not the players.” Laugh with your children.
Grown Children Still Need Dads
Sarah was 18 months old the first time her dad, Jay Chae, took her fishing. She waited patiently, and when the first wet, wriggling fish landed on the shore, the girl squealed in delight. Many trips later, Sarah is 18 years old, and asks to go fishing for ‘Dad Time.’ “It’s like she remembers how excited she was as a child, dancing when I landed the fish, and it brings her comfort to do it all again,” Chae says. He took his Korean father’s best traits and improved by adding flexibility and heart. He works to be a positive role model for both Sarah and his 19-year-old son, Paul. “You can’t promise them a wonderful life – they choose their path – but I tried to show them how,” he says. “Listen to them and advise them.”
Kenny Darbonne has three adult children: Krystin, 24, Andrew, 21, and Ryan, 19. When Krystin wanted to date an older boy, Darbonne made the couple sit in his living room until his daughter turned seventeen. “Jason is a good man,” he says. “They’re married, and we apologized later, but we told them when you have a daughter, you’ll understand,’” says Darbonne. He is a granddad now, and softer with his grandson. “Taking care of a grandchild – it’s a piece of cake with all the experience we have. And he’s a good little fella’.”
Darbonne participates in a Catholic program called That Man Is You, teaching male responsibility. His grown sons have been, and still are, competitive, but Darbonne manages it, loving each one for the fine man he is. The best dads aren’t perfect, they just keep practicing.