Spring 2012
As my son’s wedding day drew near, I faced the need for an appropriate dress to wear. Giving my firstborn to another woman was hard enough, but finding a striking gown in which to offer him up overwhelmed me. In desperation, I chose clothes to match the wedding party. To this day, I am still horrified by photos showing me looking more like a bridesmaid than my son’s guest on his big day.
The experience helped inspire Barbara Coolidge Tibbetts to write a book on the subject: I Want My Mother’s Dress to Match the Napkins: Funny Stories and Serious Advice for Looking Your Best at Your Child’s Wedding. The book gives tongue-in-cheek advice for moms on what to wear for this special occasion. It’s also packed with zany real life wedding anecdotes.
Tibbetts is no stranger to weddings. She has a music degree and played at hundreds of weddings before she and her daughter, Terrie Tibbetts Martin, opened T. Carolyn’s, a store in Vintage Park that specializes in mother-of-the-bride and mother-of-the-groom apparel. A one-of-a-kind store, Tibbetts says mothers call from around the world to seek her advice and order clothes. Here are a few of her top tips.
Do’s and Don’ts for Mothers of the Bride/Groom
- DO choose a dress that flatters YOUR body
Tibbetts says that virtually all women have body issues and will find something about their body they don’t like when they step in front of the mirror. “Get comfortable with your body, learn to dress it, and get on with it,” advises Tibbetts. “The perfect dress is one that is flattering to the body and one you feel good in.”
- DON’T be too matchy-matchy
Because mothers are a guest at the wedding, and not part of the wedding party, they can choose any color they prefer and feel confident in. Tibbetts discourages moms from matching the bridal colors, though.
- DON’T clash with bridal colors
The title of her book was actually inspired by a request from a real bride who wanted her flame-haired mother to wear burgundy and carry red roses. “Mothers are in the guest category and can dress themselves,” Tibbetts reiterates.
- DO stick to the classics
While trends come and go, Tibbetts tells women to stick with the classic adage of what’s in style is what looks best on your body. “Our goal is for you to look striking and go with confidence,” she shares. Tibbetts advises that color is the single most important thing to consider when purchasing a dress for your child’s wedding.
- DON’T blend in
Tibbetts steers women away from wearing pale colors that will make them disappear from view. Many well-meaning moms choose pale peach or mauve and are virtually lost. “Mom may look like a ghost in photos in those colors,” she says. “She’ll be invisible.”
- DO get help
Most stores don’t have the time or staff to go into dressing rooms and fit women properly. At her store, however, Tibbetts does her best to tactfully educate women about their bodies. “It’s amazing how many women don’t really know what size they are,” she says. CFM
About Barbara Coolidge Tibbetts
As a longtime wedding advisor, Tibbetts has seen hundreds of weddings and shares the anecdotes and knowledge she’s collected over the past 20 years in her advice book, I Want my Mother’s Dress to Match the Napkins: Funny Stories and Serious Advice for Looking Your Best at Your Child’s Wedding. The book is available on amazon.com or at Tibbetts’ store, T. Carolyn in Vintage Park.